I’m no expert on dating. I’ve dated a lot, but I’m probably only an expert on breaking up with women if anything; not that I’m good at it, just that I do it a lot. So I’m not qualified to give excellent advice, but on this subject who really is?

Here’s some free advice for those people who are also actively dating. When you’re single you shouldn’t be looking. Don’t act in ways you wouldn’t normally in order to find someone new. And date a lot, keeping your options open to more people will help you find the right people.

Looking for that special someone

You shouldn’t be going out looking to find that person you’re going to date. If you’re telling yourself every night that “tonight is the night” odds are it’s not going to work out. It’s not that you won’t find someone who will date you, but in my experience you’re not necessarily going to find the right match. Just because you’re single now, doesn’t mean a person who would be a good fit for you is going to be single at the same exact time.

Instead my suggestion is pretty simple and likely obvious. Be social and open to meeting people in general. Don’t create this situation where you’re turning something inside you on and off which makes you ready to date somebody. The problem is that you won’t be your real self when you’re trying to put yourself out there, you’ll be acting like someone you’re not.

Act normal

Don’t do things you normally wouldn’t do. Maybe you’re going to bars and clubs when you’re not the type to enjoy those activities much. When you do find someone at a bar you’ll likely have less in common with them than if you met somebody in an activity club of which you really enjoy. Attracting this new person to the out going bar hopping person that isn’t you is not likely to turn out great.

Date early, and date often

From a purely statistical point of view, if you’re only actively seeking to date sometimes you are really playing bad odds. Your odds are much better if you’re open to dating new people anytime, even while you’re dating someone currently. (always check with the person you’re dating before doing this!) The more open you are to dating new people, the more people you’ll date, and in the end the better your odds are of finding someone you actually have something in common with.

Obviously there are situations that work out despite my advice. Maybe you’ll find that special someone on your first and only date at a rave club you’ve never been to before dressed in slacks and a collared shirt and you two will be perfect for each other. But for me I like to mostly play the odds with my time and money.

Companies

Now lets turn my impeccable dating advice around towards our corporate empires. Because the relationship between companies and their employees is much like dating.

Looking for that special someone

Don’t have a “hiring period” where you go out and interview as many people as possible and hire lots of them. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to be looking. You should always be looking, the best people to hire aren’t necessarily going to be available during your hiring period. Instead, despite how it can be difficult financially, keep a slow and steady approach of hiring smart people all the time. The on and off approach to hiring leads to more bad relationships than good ones.

Act normal

Yes you have money to hire, and yes you need to fill those positions. However, keep an approach of always advertising that you’re looking for smart people who want to save the world with you. Don’t just open the flood gates every other quarter and spread word under every rock that it’s now or possibly next quarter. Just act normally, assuming that your normal is always being open to new (worthwhile) relationships.

Date early, and date often

The more people you’re interviewing the more likely you are to find someone that is worthwhile. Of course interviewing takes time and resources and it’s not always fun; here’s a hint… it’s just like dating. But sometimes it is fun and works out well. If anything the more you interview the more you learn about what’s going on in the outside world. People outside your company are doing lots of things you’ve never heard of and until you talk to them you won’t know anything about it.

So my advice to single people and companies is to be eternally vigilant for people who put out on the first date and smart people who get things done, respectively. Also, create an incentive structure that encourages more, better dating for you and your company; don’t allow a system that encourages poor dating habits which turns into many poor relationships.